CD Chapter One-Hundred-Twenty-One

03-09-17_3-58-02 PM

I had gone to the library to see Kole when mother sat down in front of me.  She attempted conversation but I wasn’t having it.  I had been rejecting her calls and texts for near a week.  If she thought she would charm her way back into my good graces- Shawshank was still sobbing over dad’s grave almost every day.  These were my sisters, the girls that I put above everyone else, and she had hurt them.  Not just me, but them too.  It was my job to protect them now.

03-09-17_3-58-47 PM

Kole saved me from it, he came over and saved me, like a beautiful knight in shining armor.  He didn’t know the extent of the issues I had with my mother, but he did know some, enough to know that she and I were not speaking.  And he had basically kicked her out of ‘his’ library.  I was becoming more and more infatuated with him.

03-09-17_4-03-55 PM

So I got a little risque and invited him to a heavy petting and kissing in the closet.  I’m not ready to really get physical, I’m just not there yet.  But I could be somewhat physical, a little.  And I did like him, I did like being close, but being physical- well, I felt better waiting, waiting until I was sure that it was something I wanted to do.

03-09-17_4-26-11 PM

I even still slept in a single bed, I just wasn’t ready for that kind of intimacy.  I knew I had some maturing to do.  I wanted to do a lot with my life, and working from home gave me a lot of opportunities to have a life and have friends and a social life.  There were things I could wait on, going to that level, progressing to that chapter right now, it felt too soon.  So I went on with my life, I worked, I socialized, I went out with friends.  And through those days out… Kole, goodness, he was amazing.

03-09-17_4-59-17 PM

Then the romance festival was upon the city and I decided to visit it for the second time in my life.  This time, not with my sister, but with my boyfriend.  Though we had gone out and done things, this was the first severely romantic outing.  It made me nervous to visit the festival with someone that I, well, I didn’t want to admit it, but Kole…  I loved him.  I hadn’t admitted it to him, barely even myself.  I loved him.  He understood my issues, my job, my family, I loved him.  This festival- it was a big deal to me.

03-09-17_5-04-30 PM

I asked the Guru about our relationship when Kole went off to the bathroom- a love to last the ages.  Hearing that reassured me, calmed me, probably along with the tea.  I wanted to love Kole, and if we could last the ages, well, why wouldn’t I trust the Guru?  I was glad for a small reassurance, a small thing to take away the fear of letting Kole know about my feelings.

03-09-17_5-11-34 PM

There was a small conversation between us about our feelings, and it ended in me getting on one knee.  This was the romance festival, it was the perfect place, romance was in the air and Kole said yes.  He loved me, and he said yes!  I didn’t have a boyfriend anymore, I had a fiance.  A fiance!!  It only took me half a second to decide that their already set up wedding arch made the decision easy.

We got married and they set off fireworks for us.  I had a husband, I had a husband who was beautiful, who had flaws, who had a bright and blinding soul.  I loved him, and it was so exciting to get married to him with the fireworks.  We even lucked out- Belmarsh had been at the festival too, even if it was spur of the moment, we still had family there.

03-09-17_8-51-55 PM

Kole had a lot of money, money I hadn’t known about before, and money that was now ours.  I was done with mother’s dream, so I moved us to Oasis Springs.  We built a cute little home with plenty of room for us and my sisters.  It was a cute home, nice, a new neighborhood, a fresh start.  And it was a home that was Kole and Mine’s.  Ours.  Our home.

03-09-17_8-56-01 PM

We weren’t intimate for a while after moving in together, it was slow.  Kole was a patient, kind man, he waited for me to be comfortable, and when I was- it was beautiful.  Part of me wanted us to grow our family, but I wanted to wait, I wanted to enjoy the happiness of being newlyweds.  I thought of going on a cute little camping trip, but I just didn’t see myself as much of a camper.  It would have been nice to go somewhere exotic, somewhere new, fascinating, with a different culture to learn, a whole new set of experiences to have.  The woods just weren’t that.

03-09-17_9-46-03 PM

Folsom was happy for me, happy for us, and our new home.  It was a good fresh start, it was nice to have neighbors and road leading to our home.  Perhaps if we had that previously, the fire department would have reached the house, put out the fire, and our dad wouldn’t have died.


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