Tag: Shawshank Caldo

CD Chapter One-Hundred-Sixteen

03-06-17_1-54-42 PM

The days following Archer’s death were the hardest for me, I was just going through the motions, processing evidence, cross-referencing the database, going through the motions.  Part of me was numb, another part of me was just completely destroyed.  I wasn’t me, I was reduced to shreds of a person I used to be.

03-06-17_2-11-19 PM

I still did my job, if anything interrogating was easier when I was on a fine edge, teeter-tottering.  My bursts of rage were genuine, exploding outward toward my suspect without hesitation.  They easily cracked under the heat.

03-06-17_2-45-19 PM

The only place I could feel anywhere near warm and not a cold shell of a sim was at his grave.  I went there often, every day after work, every morning before work.  I was still talking to him, telling him about my day, about the cases that were solved and put behind me (what details I could at least).  He was the love of my life, still, and it was never going to change.

03-06-17_2-47-11 PM

The flowers around his grave got plenty of water from me, and I knew my children needed me but I just didn’t know how to be a single mother.  I had loved him since we had been teens.  I had seen ghosts before, I knew they existed.  I was hoping on a prayer that he’d come back to me, that we could be together again.  When, one night I finally saw him, I couldn’t stop myself from reaching out to him.  I wanted him back, I didn’t care, dead or alive, I wanted him back with me.

03-06-17_3-24-34 PM

He came back to me, though, even as a ghost, we were soulmates.  His soul and my soul, they needed one another to be whole.  I was so happy to have him again, to be able to hear his voice (sort of) again.  My Archer was back.

03-06-17_3-37-08 PM

And even in different states of being alive or dead, we still had sparks fly.  There was no stopping us once he came back, there was no keeping us apart.  I loved him, he loved me, and together, we were Curare and Archer.  Archer and Curare.  And there was definitely some catching up to do.

03-06-17_4-06-34 PM

With my love returned, my heart again beating, I was able to fall back into my happy rhythm of work and family.  Cases came and went and I cracked them, solved them, and put them to rest.  I was the best at what I did, and knowing Archer was still at home for me, still supporting me, it gave me the push to be even better.

03-06-17_5-43-50 PM

Folsom and Attica grew into lovely teenagers, beautiful girls.  Folsom was a near spitting image of me, but Attica..  Attica had inherited a bit of Archer’s features, but beyond, she had inherited his mother’s features- I had never been close to Juno Arcos, my late mother-in-law, but she had been a beautiful woman, gorgeous.  Attica was equally as gorgeous.

03-06-17_7-25-18 PM

I was promoted to Captain and went out on the town to celebrate.  And celebrate I certainly did.  I was running off a high of getting Archer back, an urge to live again, and part of me wanted to start a second family, a new family, but I couldn’t do that.  There was such an age gap between Shawshank and any future children, and I knew first hand what it was like to be the youngest and be far more younger than any of your siblings.  It sucked to not have anyone to play with, anyone your age to talk to.  I was glad all my kids were somewhat close in age.

03-06-17_9-25-48 PM

Still, that didn’t stop me.  I just couldn’t keep my hands off him.  We had been torn apart and now we had a second chance, I wasn’t about to waste that.  Our family was whole again and there was no amount of thanks I could give to show my gratitude to whatever forces that were at work.

03-06-17_9-38-18 PM

We could all sit down and be a family again, and though it was strange our kids were happy.  This was for the best.  Still, it was strange.  It was bizarre to not really be looking into Archer’s lovely eyes but to be looking through them.

03-06-17_9-45-05 PM

Belmarsh aged into a young adult and moved out.  He moved to live with my sisters, my old home, to keep that side of that family legacy alive.  I was glad he was somewhere safe, and that we were still in contact.  Part of me was pleased that he could carry on that legacy- perhaps a patriarchy instead of a matriarchy.

03-06-17_10-27-53 PM

I, though, was so caught up in the recent changes of my life that I forgot my own birthday.  I grew into a fully fledged adult ready to take on the world.

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CD Chapter One-Hundred-Fifteen

05-02-16_6-08-12 PM

I kept working through my pregnancy though I spent less time away from the station.  Mostly I was put on a desk and stayed there for my pregnancy.  Luckily I was blessed with relatively easy cases to solve, or perhaps that was on purpose.  Either way, pregnancy wouldn’t keep me benched forever.

05-02-16_7-30-05 PM

I didn’t work late as much while I was pregnant and I spent more time with my kids.  Belmarsh was growing up and soon he’d be an adult, his childhood and teenage years behind him.  It was strange to think of my baby all grown up.

05-02-16_7-44-57 PM

I was glad to see my family close and together rather than everyone doing their own individual things.  I enjoyed knowing that things were better here.  It just cemented that the change was beneficial for everyone.  The twins were best friends, it was cute.

05-02-16_7-46-11 PM

I went into labor and delivered a cute little baby girl, Shawshank.  That meant there were three prospect heiresses to decide between.  Shawshank was considerably younger than the rest but depending on how she grew up I thought it might be worth considering her.

05-02-16_7-56-28 PM

It turned out that I didn’t have what it took to be social anymore.  Invited to a night out I fell asleep in a bush.  Motherhood and life had taken the party from my bones but I wasn’t sure that was a bad thing or good.

05-02-16_11-25-31 PM

Shawshank grew into a cute little girl and all my children were in school.  Shawshank was a little cutie and was a bit of a tomboy.

05-02-16_11-44-59 PM

It was nice that all my kids could do homework together and encouraged each other.  All my kids had good grades and I was so grateful that they were staying out of trouble.

05-02-16_11-49-50 PM

And with no babies to care after Archer and I had plenty of time to ourselves.  It was nice to have more time with the love of my life.

05-06-16_4-47-05 PM

The children highly enjoyed their little homework club where they studied and learned new skills.  I was eager to encourage their club, especially since it made them little social butterflies and got them to study.

I was sick for a day and I thought it was going to mean another baby.  When I took a test, though, I wasn’t pregnant.  I was sadder than I expected about it.  Maybe I had gotten a bit more hopeful than I had thought about the prospect of another baby.

05-06-16_5-15-23 PM

Archer was understanding and consoled me through it.  I was fortunate enough to have someone who loved me and could support me through this sadness.  It wasn’t a big deal, we didn’t need another baby, and it wasn’t a planned thing either.  We had our careers to focus on, our lives to work on.  Four kids was enough.  I just hadn’t expected to be so disappointed.

05-06-16_8-11-06 PM

Archer put his free time into our children that we had during my sadness.  How had it bummed me out so much?  With the kids in school I felt a little more able to stay at work longer, so I did.  I threw myself into my work to support my four kids.

One evening after work as Archer was making dinner a fire broke out.  My goal was immediately to get the kids to safety- we had a fire detector, the fire department would come, of course.  Turns out, they didn’t.  Archer died, and my pleading with the reaper did nothing.