CD Chapter One-Hundred-Twenty-One

I had gone to the library to see Kole when mother sat down in front of me.  She attempted conversation but I wasn’t having it.  I had been rejecting her calls and texts for near a week.  If she thought she would charm her way back into my good graces- Shawshank was still sobbing over dad’s grave almost every day.  These were my sisters, the girls that I put above everyone else, and she had hurt them.  Not just me, but them too.  It was my job to protect them now.

Kole saved me from it, he came over and saved me, like a beautiful knight in shining armor.  He didn’t know the extent of the issues I had with my mother, but he did know some, enough to know that she and I were not speaking.  And he had basically kicked her out of ‘his’ library.  I was becoming more and more infatuated with him.

So I got a little risque and invited him to a heavy petting and kissing in the closet.  I’m not ready to really get physical, I’m just not there yet.  But I could be somewhat physical, a little.  And I did like him, I did like being close, but being physical- well, I felt better waiting, waiting until I was sure that it was something I wanted to do.

I even still slept in a single bed, I just wasn’t ready for that kind of intimacy.  I knew I had some maturing to do.  I wanted to do a lot with my life, and working from home gave me a lot of opportunities to have a life and have friends and a social life.  There were things I could wait on, going to that level, progressing to that chapter right now, it felt too soon.  So I went on with my life, I worked, I socialized, I went out with friends.  And through those days out… Kole, goodness, he was amazing.

Then the romance festival was upon the city and I decided to visit it for the second time in my life.  This time, not with my sister, but with my boyfriend.  Though we had gone out and done things, this was the first severely romantic outing.  It made me nervous to visit the festival with someone that I, well, I didn’t want to admit it, but Kole…  I loved him.  I hadn’t admitted it to him, barely even myself.  I loved him.  He understood my issues, my job, my family, I loved him.  This festival- it was a big deal to me.

I asked the Guru about our relationship when Kole went off to the bathroom- a love to last the ages.  Hearing that reassured me, calmed me, probably along with the tea.  I wanted to love Kole, and if we could last the ages, well, why wouldn’t I trust the Guru?  I was glad for a small reassurance, a small thing to take away the fear of letting Kole know about my feelings.

There was a small conversation between us about our feelings, and it ended in me getting on one knee.  This was the romance festival, it was the perfect place, romance was in the air and Kole said yes.  He loved me, and he said yes!  I didn’t have a boyfriend anymore, I had a fiance.  A fiance!!  It only took me half a second to decide that their already set up wedding arch made the decision easy.

We got married and they set off fireworks for us.  I had a husband, I had a husband who was beautiful, who had flaws, who had a bright and blinding soul.  I loved him, and it was so exciting to get married to him with the fireworks.  We even lucked out- Belmarsh had been at the festival too, even if it was spur of the moment, we still had family there.

Kole had a lot of money, money I hadn’t known about before, and money that was now ours.  I was done with mother’s dream, so I moved us to Oasis Springs.  We built a cute little home with plenty of room for us and my sisters.  It was a cute home, nice, a new neighborhood, a fresh start.  And it was a home that was Kole and Mine’s.  Ours.  Our home.

We weren’t intimate for a while after moving in together, it was slow.  Kole was a patient, kind man, he waited for me to be comfortable, and when I was- it was beautiful.  Part of me wanted us to grow our family, but I wanted to wait, I wanted to enjoy the happiness of being newlyweds.  I thought of going on a cute little camping trip, but I just didn’t see myself as much of a camper.  It would have been nice to go somewhere exotic, somewhere new, fascinating, with a different culture to learn, a whole new set of experiences to have.  The woods just weren’t that.

Folsom was happy for me, happy for us, and our new home.  It was a good fresh start, it was nice to have neighbors and road leading to our home.  Perhaps if we had that previously, the fire department would have reached the house, put out the fire, and our dad wouldn’t have died.

CD Chapter One-Hundred-Nineteen

If mother thought we were blind to what she was doing she was an idiot.  Perhaps she was simply an idiot.  It was getting increasingly hard to tell.  Our entire family had been aware when she had not come home that one night, and then she stayed away for an entire night once more.  Then, she stayed away even more.  It was ridiculous.  And here she thought she was going to have a lovely little family meeting, that she would explain everything with rational thought and reason.  We turned the tables on her- and by turned the tables I mean she got kicked out back to her ancestral home.

Folsom had no interest in romance, children, or any of that. Honestly, after the stunt mother had pulled before Shawshank’s birthday with our dad, well, Shawshank didn’t really have an intention of leading mother’s legacy.  I truly had been the only one left and so I took on the responsibility.  I wasn’t focused on romance, I was still a teenager, but at least I had my friends.

Naturally, as I am sure is obvious, I am Attica Caldo.  I’ve read mother’s journals, she spoke of my ‘issues’, which is by far the most inconsiderate way to put it.  I enjoy books, chess, people.  My hobbies include talking to my local librarian, Kole, and my friend Hanna.  My sister, Folsom, is my best friend.  I am, technically, insane.  I do not think that defines my entire being, though.

Shawshank was probably never going to forgive mother, dad had left just before her birthday and she had been so close to him.  She was torn up, she had been visiting his grave since his death, even when he had come back, she had never been the same since the fire.  It was sad, and I had been concerned for a long time but I wasn’t sure what I could do for her.  I felt this grief would be something she would carry around for her entire life.

As the new matriarch I took over most of the responsibilities, I cooked, I cleaned, but I didn’t really mind.  Keeping busy, moving through life, it helped me, a continuous movement, it kept my thoughts at bay.  The voices at bay.  The inconsistencies in my life.  If I kept moving then things were okay.

It was what prompted me to get a job as a barista before school, though we had sold quite a few things of mother’s to make it by, but I wanted to be productive.  I enjoyed being productive, being part of life.  Her journals had spoken about me like I was sick, terminally ill, or a danger to others.  My ‘issues’ were simply conditions, and it wasn’t as if they were major.  Plenty of people had worse lives than me, plenty of people were dealing with worse hardships.

I was the one who made our cute little cake for our birthday, I even threw us a party.  Folsom didn’t have many friends, she fished, but I had friends.  I had Kole, from the library, and Hanna, and friends from my clubs, like Dean.  I enjoyed my friends, and I wanted to throw a party.  I wanted something good for this transition, with mother and her mistakes, well, I just wanted something good.  And it was good.

Adulthood came with choices, careers, relationships, and responsibilities.  I could do it, I was capable.  I entered the social media career- a career that was, even in its name, social.  For some reason I was entered in at level three, but I wasn’t complaining, obviously they saw some potential in me.  I worked from various locations, the library most frequently so I could talk to Kole.

One of my new projects as an adult was to take pictures, I wanted to take photos, to capture memories.  I thought it would be nice to decorate my room with photos of my friends and family.

CD Gen6 Outtakes & Trivia

A bit about why this went so fast; When I took that break I came back with so much having had passed that I kind of wanted to start a new generation so I could try all the new things in the updates/EPs that I had missed.  I also figured four days out from adulthood was good enough to switch generations.

Sapphire was out at the club (as a ghost no less).

The redone kitchen.

They were one of the cutest couples I’ve had in game.

Attica

Folsom

Curare

You can really see the similarities between Folsom and Curare, they both have round faces, similar eyes, noses, lips, I use different skin overlays for them, but their core features are very similar.  It makes me love Attica because she looks like Juno Arcos and goodness Juno was gorgeous, I would know, I made her.

Shawshank and Folsom.

I saw protesters!

Gen 6 : Curare Caldo

• Curare’s traits are : Loner, Good, Lazy. She earned Creatively Gifted, Mentally Gifted, High Metabolism, Fertile, Connections, Frugal, Gym Rat, Long Lived, Alluring, Observant, Entrepreneurial.
• Curare’s naming theme is Prisons.
• Curare’s aspirations were BodyBuilder (Com), Successful Lineage (Inc).
• Gen7 Birth Order : Belmarsh (m), Folsom (f), Attica (f), Shawshank (f)
• I started to get bored so I began to have fun with the story making bit of this blog/the CD Diaries.
• Curare’s stomach didn’t flatten after she gave birth so I used cheats to age her up into a young adult so that her body would reset. So when I wrote she “dropped out” of high school, that’s how I made that true in the game.
• I decided to start over with a fresh lot, no funds, because, well, it got boring having a lovely and huge house with literally over 150k in funds, I needed to struggle again. I may do it again in the future. I kind of dislike the huge lots, makes me feel like I have to fill all that space with stuff.
• Archer enjoyed popping whims to try for a baby. 😐 I never knew if the kids were from that or the risky woohoo so I just wrote most of them as happy surprises.
• The fire Archer died in was an accident, could I have probably extinguished him? Yea. I was just ready for the next generation.
• After Archer’s death is when I rolled for heiress.
• I hadn’t messed around with a ghost in sims 4 since the abilities had been released to play them and make lil ghost babies, so Archer came back to the household but I promised myself no [intentional] babies.
• I got a lil bored with Sims (which is also why it was easy to quit playing for that long time) so that’s how Curare’s affair happened, I was bored, the baby was risky woohoo. I just decided to turn it into story for the legacy blog instead of having to reroll heiress again.
• Curare’s chapters spanned from 110-118.

CD Chapter One-Hundred-Eightteen

It felt strange coming back, that the place I had fled as a teenager with a husband and son was the one place I could return now.  I couldn’t go home to Archer right now, and part of me missed this neighborhood, the openness yet the ability to be connected to others.  This had been my home for several years.

It was strange to be pregnant and running back here instead of running away.  My room was exactly how I had left it.  The only bright room in the house.  It was too late for me to have another baby, too late for me to toss another possible heiress into the mix.  I wasn’t sure how Archer would react, he would be hurt, but had he expected me to be faithful to a ghost?  I just truly wondered about how my daughters would react.

I found myself at my mother’s bar.  It was bad to drink while pregnant, I knew that, but there had already been so much drinking and I just needed a little to take the edge off.  I had to work, I had to see Declan.

He and I had a talk, our feelings for each other out in the open, and the feelings for this baby I was carrying.  It felt good to move on with my life but in order to begin this new chapter I had to end the current one.

When I got home from work Archer confronted me about how I hadn’t been home for nearly two days.  The truth was coming out and I decided to just rip off the bandage, no anesthetic.  I told him about Declan, I told him about the baby.

Archer was devastated and maybe I had been a bit colder than I had needed to be.  He had been a good man but I just wasn’t interest in literally living with a ghost.  The conversation dragged on as he sorted out his emotions- naturally they weren’t good.

He decided to leave, to remove to his netherworld.  I wasn’t sure how the kids would take this, how they would react.  He was gone and I was pretty sure he would never return.

Shawshank grew up without her father and I felt guilty for it.  All of my children were grown and here I was growing another.  I hadn’t told them yet, but they hadn’t seen their father- he hadn’t said goodbye.  I would have to tell the girls myself.

I would wait to do that, I would wait til after work when we were all home and call a meeting.  I was dreading it but I wouldn’t let it get in the way of my work.  Though in the back of my mind I was planning on what to say to my girls, how to say it.  First I had to talk to Declan- discuss our future so I could tell my children.

I spoke with Declan at a park and I just needed to know in this new chapter he would be there for me- I was without a husband, and I felt perhaps he should be without a wife.  Then we could get on with our lives together.

I was glad when he agreed, when he ended his marriage, when he and I became boyfriend and girlfriend we knew we would have to keep it secret for work.  Still, my life was moving forward and I was glad.

The girls did not share the same optimism for my life.  The twins were heavily upset with me when they learned about their father,  Shawshank was mostly sad that I had run her father off before her birthday.  It was Attica who took charge, though.  She wasn’t willing to let my “selfish wants” ruin the family.

CD Chapter One-Hundred-Seventeen

There was no reason for me to go to the romance festival with Archer back, but the girls went.  Apparently it was lovely, with tea, romance advice and wisdom, and rose petal throwing.

The girls came home and told me all about it, they had a great time.  Attica apparently got told that she would have to wait “many moons” to be with her true love.  I wondered if that would mean she would be single for a long time, or just wait a long time to actually be with her love?  It wasn’t really my concern for now, the good news was she would find love.

Though Archer was back it was different, it was strange.  At first I had been so excited, so enamored.  Now, it was different.  I was literally living with a ghost.  I was sharing a bed with a ghost.

Attica began to take up yoga to help calm with her mood swings, similar to my grandmother Sapphire.  Similar to Sapphire, Attica had a… condition.  I knew Sapphire had worked very hard to help people with similar conditions but her work only went so far and not everyone was understanding when a person was unstable.  Maybe that’s what the love guru person had meant with Attica.

Attica and Folsom went to a little thrift festival where things were traded and what not.  There she met a friend whom she said was great.  They didn’t talk much about what went on but Folsom bought a lamp that we have no where to put.

Folsom began to take up fishing in her spare time with the many little fishing spots around the house.  In retrospect the lot I had bought us was so far out of the way that it isolated us.  I didn’t want to be isolated.

Sometimes it was tiring being with a ghost, getting scared as objects floated around my house, spooked.  Even if I should be used to it there just wasn’t getting used to somethings.  There was a bit of tension, a bit of stress, from living with a ghost.

The yearning of human companionship, male human companionship…  I know it wasn’t good.  I know it’s definitely not good to flirt with my boss.  I know it’s definitely not good to flirt consistently with my boss.  It was even worse to turn that into a romance.  We were both married… kind of.  My spouse was dead.  And till death we part, right?

I got a promotion, and after work a call from Declan to celebrate said promotion out at the club.  I went by myself this time- I went to meet Declan alone.  I didn’t mean for it to turn into this, to be like this, but I just needed a warm body in my arms.  Maybe finding a way for Archer to return was a mistake, maybe I should have just mourned, grieved, and most importantly, moved on.

But there was no taking back what I did, and I was obviously moving on now.  Declan and I had plenty of fun during that night out but once he left and went home… I couldn’t.  I couldn’t go home.  I couldn’t face Archer after what I had done.  We weren’t even married anymore, our marriage had been nullified by death, I had no real obligation to stay faithful but yet the guilt.

And so I didn’t.  I moved around to a new club, one I had never been to and one that was pretty dead.  Just me and the bartender.  He was a very good listener, and he listened.  For hours.  While I had drink after drink, roll after bread roll, and stayed there for quite a long time.

I was lucky that it was my day off, and this binge went well into the night.  I didn’t go home.  Even as the sun began to come up I was still drinking.  I needed to drown what I had done.

I got so very drunk that I even began to converse with a toilet that did pretty shows and talked back.  Or at least I think it talked back, I’m pretty sure?  Not sure?  I’m not really all that quite sure, I can’t remember all that much from that point onward.

But I remember sobering up in an entirely different district of the city with a realization- pregnant.  I was pregnant.  And it wasn’t Archer’s baby.  Not only had I cheated on my dead husband (kind of), but I had gotten pregnant with another man’s baby.  I called Declan so we could talk about this.

I tried to go into the conversation as optimistic as possible, this wasn’t really a good thing, it wasn’t really something to be super excited about.  Nervous laughter was killed by the look on his face and the harsh rejection he shot at me, he needed to think, he needed to go home, whatever…  whatever.

I didn’t know where to go, so I went home.  Not my home, with the ghost of Archer and my girls, but my home- the one I had grown up in, the large gothic mansion my mother had spent an age building with the red walls and intimidating structure.  I went home.